#QueerLitLoft

Exodai serves as a gateway to an incredibly raw telling of a lived experience so far from societal norms as to be as engrossing as it is emotive.

This memoir is not for the faint of heart or those readers who may struggle with depictions of extreme BDSM scenes. This is not fiction and therefore don’t expect to find your vanilla or mainstream take on BDSM. The content of this book far surpasses erotica, verging on outright torture and abuse at times; the truthfulness of the author has produced a shockingly riveting memoir that is beautiful in its honesty.

To fully appreciate the vulnerability and willingness displayed by the author to share her experience, this book needs to be approached with an open heart and mind leaving judgement outside the front cover. What awaits inside is not always easy to read, it might even at times seem ludicrous to a passive bystander, but the author’s experience is a consequence of being an outcast for her sexual orientation from an early age.

At its core, the book is a personal, real and very human journey that serves as a brutal reminder of what a lack of self-love and self-acceptance can do to one’s psyche. Creating a covert mentality of self-sabotage that spans the passage of time and clearly in the case of the author leads to a life of searching for acceptance.

I think many readers will be surprised by this memoir, as it isn’t what most will likely expect having read the back jacket blurb. It is Elizabeth’s story of self-discovery and her journey to realise that self-worth and loving oneself cannot be found at the feet of a dominant no matter how far one pushes the boundaries to serve and please. Those things come from within, and in sharing her journey Elizabeth also shares her strength in surviving her experiences and reaching a place of peace whereby she can begin to accept all the parts of who she is; her sexuality, her religious beliefs, and her sexual preferences. The road may have been long and torturous but this is who she is. And it’s more than okay.

If you enjoy memoirs or are looking for a moving and unique read I’d highly recommend Exodai. It is a compelling story of an intense lived experience and whilst it does heavily depict the Tokyo BDSM/fetish/kink underworld, the crux of this memoir is that it is not a BDSM story. It is so, so much more than that, and Elizabeth’s courage in sharing her story is worth every single second of your time.

I received an arc of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.

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